Twenty years. It’s been twenty years.  Much of my day today is similar, I know, to others ~ we’ve looked at photos in the news of the smoke, the shocked look on faces, the horror of it all.  We’ve responded to all of the “What were you doing when the Twin Towers were hit?” prompts on Facebook ~ and then we’ve remembered where we were and what we were doing when we heard the news. 

In other ways, though, my day has been drastically different. In 2001, I didn’t have anyone I loved living in New York City. I knew my family was safe. My son wasn’t a firefighter running into hell. He was 3.  I wasn’t running for my life. I was a Middle School teacher in Michigan. So today, I don’t grieve in the same way as others. I’m not processing the trauma of 9/11 in the same way as others. But it did occur to me that I am grieving.

I grieve the 20 years of war that the US just ended so, so badly. I grieve the 20 years of fear that led to the Department of Homeland Security, to the years of “Active Shooter” drills in elementary schools, and to the ever increasing number of guns being carried around. I grieve the polarization of people into categories and the vitriol with which so many talk about an “us” and a “them.”  But I’ve always believed that acknowledging grief and remembering history is only the beginning of moving forward. 

So what do I pray follows today’s grief?  Hope, and then joy. I want to hope that all of the youngest among us will be free to laugh and jump in mud puddles after a rain and that there will be no more reports of children being killed by gunfire. I want to hope that we can welcome all the Afghans coming to our country to re-build their lives and that all of them can sleep in peace. I want to hope that we build together, that we talk civilly together, that we celebrate and, yes, mourn together. That we live life together. And I believe that in the living of life we will find joy. 

The picture you see with this post was taken by my nephew, PJ Dickens.  PJ and his wife and three little ones visited our farm not long ago, and he was absolutely captivated by the view looking up from the inside of the silo.  This picture captures what he saw, and I think it’s a perfect symbol for today. There is a ladder out of the fear and darkness. The world shines bright and beautiful, and we can see it.  I think it’s time we climbed the ladder.  Peace.